National Infertility Awareness Week (NIAW) is an emotional week for me. Five years ago, I received the news that I have Primary Ovarian Insufficiency which threw us into the world of infertility. After many doctors appointments, tests, and second and third opinions, we realized that our chances of conceiving naturally were less than 1%.
We weighed our options to become parents while I grieved deeply. In the end, we made the tough decision to remain childless.
Since we announced our news to our friends and family in 2020, I felt like after 2 years, I was supposed to be healed and happy. The truth was I was still devastated and felt like no one wanted to talk about our infertility.
It felt like people didn’t know what to say to me.
It felt like people ignored me to avoid my sadness.
It felt like I was all alone.
In 2022, I found RESOLVE, the National Infertility Association, after searching for ways to heal from the grief of infertility. On their website, I saw that San Diego was having a walk to raise infertility awareness.
I signed us up and ordered t-shirts that said “A Family of Two is Still a Family”. I was so excited to meet people like me who were struggling with infertility and hoped to find a community since I felt very isolated in my grief.
When we arrived at the walk, there was one folding table with about 30 people around it. Everyone was friendly and it felt nice to have 30 people around me that understood this pain.
On the walk, I met Carly. She was kind and friendly. We shared our stories while our husbands and her two miracle children walked behind us. As we walked, we decided that we wanted to help make the walk bigger and better. We thought about all the ways we could help the clinic that started the walk spread the word and get more people to come.
We knew there were so many more people like us that needed connection and support. Our desire was and has always been to bring the community together to raise awareness and help other feels seen and connected.
Carly approached them after the walk and they gladly offered her to take over and since then, we have organized the walk together.
This weekend is the 3rd walk we’ve organized and I’m proud of the work we’ve done to grow it to 25 sponsors and over 500 walkers. We also have three committee members who have really helped us grow the walk to even greater proportions.
Being the San Diego Walk of Hope Co-Chair beside Carly has been such a healing experience. Together we affirmed each other’s grief and created something out of love and empathy. Having 1 person who understands how grief comes in waves, even after lots of healing work is done feels comforting.
Meeting Carly in 2022 was a sliding door moment for me. I realize I could have stayed in my grief bubble and said “no” to helping. But saying “yes!” helped me to take my grief and transmute it into something beautiful. This experience is something I am grateful for.
Earlier this week, we had a mini media circuit on radio and TV and my takeaway message was I want everyone to find their Carly. This experience proved to me that having a friend who walks together with you as you grieve can leave a lasting impact on your heart and soul.
This year, National Infertility Awareness Week may feel emotional, but the emotions are more of gratitude than of sorrow and that shows me that deep healing has occurred and is possible.
The RESOLVE San Diego Walk of Hope is April 27, 2025 between 10am - Noon. If you would like to join us, please see the website for all the information. This is also my final year organizing. If you’re unable to attend, please consider a donation on our Hockstra Hopefuls team page. All proceeds go directly to RESOLVE.
Thank you Carly for asking me to be your co-chair and to RESOLVE for providing the opportunity for us to blossom this walk and our friendship.